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Shorter Version


 

Est. Reading Time: 4 Minutes

“She asked, ‘What are you looking at?’ And, I thought, ‘What am I looking at? My future wife? The mother of my children? The person I was put on this Earth to find? And, I said, ‘I am looking at you.’”

~ Pete Wentz

They say, “You can’t live with women and you can’t live without them,” but how true is that? Because in my opinion, we need each other. We are stronger together than apart. So, if that humorous saying (the part about not being able to live with women) was really true, well, then we are screwed. Seriously. But, thankfully, it’s not. You can definitely live with a woman – if she’s the right woman.

So, what are these elusive signs? Well, it depends. They will vary, depending on you, your girlfriend, your relationship, and your life plans. The woman who will become your future wife may be different than the one that is meant to become your brother’s or friend’s future wife. But, some general signs apply to almost any relationship such as being trustworthy, kind, honest, supportive, etc. These characteristics are needed to build a marriage that will last a lifetime.

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Longer Version


 

She is trustworthy

Do you trust your girlfriend with all of your heart? Trust is the hallmark of any relationship; your partner must be trustworthy if you plan to make her your wife one day. More specifically, if your girlfriend has never given you a reason to distrust her then she may be your future wife. Both partners must trust each other 100% for a marriage to be healthy, happy, and long-lasting. 

She sparks joy in your life

Do you feel happy, excited, and joyful when your girlfriend is around? Does she spark joy in your life? If so, this may be a sign she is your future wife. There is nothing better than getting those butterflies (jitters) when you’re with or about to see the love of your life. If she uplifts, inspires, and supports you, she may just end up being in your life for the long haul. However, if she is critical, judgmental, and depressing – run for the hills because she is not the “One.” 

She’s your biggest fan

Can you honestly say your girlfriend is your biggest fan? Does she encourage you to accomplish your goals? A spouse is supposed to be your biggest cheerleader and strongest support system – all of the time. She should motivate you to strive to be your best. She should inspire you to be a better person, partner, friend, father, employee, child, brother, etc. If she’s not doing these things for you, then she’s probably not your future wife. 

She’s your “ride or die”

Is your girlfriend there when you need her? Can you depend on her to be there through thick-and-thin? Or, is she the type of person to “cut and run” as soon as the going gets rough? If you consider your girlfriend your “ride or die” then that’s a surefire sign she is meant to be your future wife. You want a wife who will always have your back – fight for and with you. You don’t want to marry someone who is there when the water is calm but is mysteriously absent when the tides turn.

This sex is amazing

Is the sex amazing? If so, you have one sexy future in store for you! Although sex shouldn’t be the only reason you marry your girlfriend, it sure does help. To have a successful marriage, there needs to be chemistry and some form of physical intimacy (preferably of the sexual kind). If that is absent, sporadic, or unpleasant, she’s probably not your future wife. Being sexually or physically unfulfilled in a marriage can lead to resentment, hostility, and an emotional disconnect over time. So, be real with yourself and your girlfriend and either try to “fix” what is broken in the bedroom or prepare to move on.

You have similar life plans

Do your future plans mesh? In other words, do you have similar life plans? Because that is extremely important if you plan to marry your girlfriend one day. Does she want children? Does she even believe in marriage? Does she want to go back to school or pursue a certain career – one that may take her away from home (i.e. military, politics, HR, showbiz, etc.)? What are her goals? Her dreams? Wants and needs? Passions? How do these things correspond with what you want in life – your life plan? If the two life plans mesh, then you’re good to go. However, if you want separate things in life, she is probably not your future wife.

She can tell something is “off” simply by looking at you

Does she know you? Can she tell if something is “off” with you simply by looking at you? If so, this is a bonafide sign she is your future wife. A wife who is in sync with her spouse can tell if they are upset, angry, happy, frustrated, stressed, excited, nervous, ill, etc.

She is accepting

Does she accept you as is – your flaws, quirks, and inconsistencies? If so, it sounds like you may have a “keeper.” However, if she is constantly trying to change you or “improve you,” she is not the right person for you – now or in the future. It is important that your future wife loves you just the way you are – not the way she wants you to be or thinks you should be. If she’s not accepting, she’s not the “One.” 

She is forgiving

Does she forgive you when you mess up? Everyone messes up from time-to-time, especially when you’re young. You’re still learning and developing, so you’re bound to make mistakes. The goal is not to irreparably damage your relationship in the process. But, if you mess up and she still forgives you, it’s a sign that she is your future wife.

She is loyal

Does your girlfriend only have eyes for you? You can determine this by paying attention to her behavior. If others flirt with her but her attention remains focused on you and only you, she’s in it for the long haul. There is nothing better than knowing you can trust your wife because she’s loyal.

Actionable Steps


 
1

Reflect on your relationship

Does your partner possess these qualities? Which ones are “lacking?”

2

Read more on this topic

If you are interested in learning if your girlfriend is your future wife, check out the following articles: 6 Signs the Lady You Are Dating Is Your Future Wife, An Open Letter To My Future Wife: How I Plan To Make You Happy Every Day Of Your Life, and 9 Ways to Know You’ve Found the Right Woman.

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About the Author


 
Dr. R. Y. Langham

Dr. R. Y. Langham

Ph.D. in Family Psychology

Ree has a Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy (M.M.F.T.) and a Ph.D. in Family Psychology. She spent over ten years counseling families, couples, individuals, and children on adjustment issues such as blended families, same-sex couples, dysfunctional family relationships, relationship issues, etc. Now she writes for famous health organizations and is a published author.
Full Bio | LinkedIn


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