Are Dating Sites Right for You?

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“Dating can be painful, can be great, can be confusing, can be weird, but I don’t do it online because I’m not really an online person.”

~ Jonathan Groff

Life can get really busy when you “officially” become an adult. And, if you add college, a post-graduate job, and staying connected with friends and family, there’s very little time for yourself, let alone dating.

However, at the end of the day, it sure would be nice to have someone to talk to about your day and snuggle with in bed. But, you barely have enough time as it is – how can you possibly add dating to the mix?

The good news: it is possible

It won’t be as you envisioned. It’s called online dating and it involves dating sites. The best thing about these sites is you don’t even have to leave your home to engage in them. And, in some cases, you don’t have to spend a dime. You can literally be your “overly picky self” if you want because you have plenty of time to make your “date selections.”

You also get to choose what type of “experience” you want, from friendships to hookups, casual dates to full-fledged, committed relationships – all from your bed…or couch. 

The downside to dating sites

Sounds pretty amazing, huh? Sorry to burst that bubble, but there are some downsides to dating sites like catfishing and online stalkers. Yikes! However, with the right precautions and for the right person, online dating can be a Godsend.

How do you know if dating apps are right for you?

The truth is, online dating and dating sites are wildly popular in the US and abroad.  In fact, the US boasts approximately 2,500 dating sites with 1,000 new ones added each year. There are nearly 8,000 dating sites globally.

And, guess what? Almost 50 million Americans have tried dating sites.

So, now that we have established that dating sites are extremely trendy and convenient, is it something that could or would be worthwhile for you? Possibly. 

If you think that online dating is your “cup of tea” but have been wary of actually committing to it because of tv shows like Catfish and online stalker scenarios, this may be the time to see what all the hoopla is about (with the proper precautions, of course). 

Dating sites are teeming with people – young, middle-age, older, rich, poor, and middle-class, educated and uneducated, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, and heterosexual, African, African-American, Caucasian, Asian, Middle Eastern, Hispanic, and Native American. There are introverts, extroverts, “nerds,” “social butterflies,” and everything else under the sun.

There is literally a rainbow of people from all different walks of life on dating sites. There is someone for everyone. It just depends on what you’re looking for. It is an exciting way to meet new people from your city or half-way around the world. The best part? You can log-in anywhere – i.e. on your way to class or work, on the bus, in your car, while grocery shopping…you get the idea.

Precautions to take

But, as I mentioned above, online dating isn’t always a bag of roses. If you engage in this type of “unconventional dating,” you’ll need to take proper precautions to avoid anger or mere annoyance.

What kind of precautions?

For instance, not giving an online suitor your full name, address, and phone number 20-minutes after meeting him or her. And not getting too invested until you have “FaceTimed” with your online Juliet or Romeo (cough…cough…your suitor may be a catfish). You also do not want to meet an online suitor in a secluded place like his or her home.

And, when you decide to meet-up, you’ll want to tell your friends and family where you are going and with whom. If you take these easy precautions, you can enjoy dating sites without fear of things getting out-of-control. And, if the “traditional ways of dating” haven’t yielded you much, online dating is a great way to make a new friend or find a short-term or long-term companion.

But, remember, only you can determine if online dating is right for you. Check out the steps below.




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Actionable Steps


1

Do your research

There are tons of dating sites available. Some are primarily computer-based, some are smartphone and tablet-based and some are offered on both platforms.

Some are theme-based like ChristianMingle.com, InterracialPeopleMeet.com, EliteSingles.com, and BlackPeopleMeet.com – to name a few. Some of the more popular dating sites are: Match.com, Zoosk, Hinge, OkCupid, Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Coffee Meets Bagel, and University Love Connection.  

You’ll need to do your research to determine which one(s) are right for you.

2

If you are introverted, shy, or simply prefer to be alone most of the time

Dating sites are beneficial for people who are introverted, shy, or simply prefer to be alone (most of the time). These individuals typically prefer to spend time alone or with a small close-knit group of friends. Because socializing with large groups of random people is excruciating for them, they typically don’t have much luck in the dating department.

With the invention of online dating and dating sites, introverts have a chance to showcase their charm, wit, and what makes them special. And, they get to do all of this on their time and where they feel most comfortable. No pressure at all. For these individuals, dating sites can be a blessing.
 
However, if you’re more the extrovert who loves meeting new people and mingling, dating sites may not be the right thing for you. I’d reckon to say that these individuals would probably get bored with these sites pretty quickly. So, they should probably stick to more “traditional” forms of dating. 

3

You’re bank account is running low

Dating can be expensive, especially when in your early-to-mid-twenties. You just got out of high school not too long ago and now you’re either still in college or working – or maybe you’re doing both. Either way, you probably don’t have tons of money lying around.
 
But, because you don’t go out, you also don’t meet people (because you’re in the house every night), which means you don’t date. Sigh. You try dating sites but they just don’t give you the same feel as mingling and meeting someone in-person. On the other hand, if you hate socializing and spending money like it grows on trees, dating sites are perfect for you.

4

You are incredibly busy

You’re young and fun but you just don’t have time to go out and meet new people. What is your alternative? Online dating. You don’t need a lot of time to do this type of dating and you can be super picky if you want.
 
It is very convenient because you can log-on early in the morning or late at night. You can even log-on while studying or on lunch break. It really is love-on-the-go! What could be better? If this sounds like you then a dating site can be a miracle.

5

You are intrigued by the results

Researchers suggest that approximately 20% of relationships and 17% of marriages began with online dating. If, however, if you are still leery about signing-up on a dating site, you may want to wait until you are more comfortable with it.

Still need help? Ask the coaches!

About the Author


Dr. R. Y. Langham

Dr. R. Y. Langham

Ph.D. in Family Psychology

Ree has a Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy (M.M.F.T.) and a Ph.D. in Family Psychology. She spent over ten years counseling families, couples, individuals, and children on adjustment issues such as blended families, same-sex couples, dysfunctional family relationships, relationship issues, etc. Now she writes for famous health organizations and is a published author.
Full Bio | LinkedIn


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