Embrace Your Uniqueness To Stop Your Suffering

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Shorter Version

Est. Reading Time: 2 Minutes

Throughout the course of our lives, people encourage us to fit in because we never want to feel alone or ostracized. Learning to embrace your uniqueness isn’t easy, but it is necessary for personal growth.

Others instill this fear of being left out and not belonging anywhere deep into our core at a very young age. They then force us to forgo finding our true selves in favor of finding some version of ourselves that helps us fit the mold and not draw too much attention to our differences.  

But in the process, we completely lose ourselves and who it is we are really supposed to be.  

Should we listen to whom others say we should be in order to fit in? Or should we listen to this tiny voice inside our heart that tells us that we should just be ourselves?  

We often feel these pangs of identity confusion most strongly during our teenage years, but for some, the struggles can continue long after that.  

To stop suffering, embrace your uniqueness

Don’t let others influence you in ways you aren’t comfortable with. Listen to your heart and you will reveal your true self.

Not knowing or embracing who you really are is one of the worst feelings and experiences in the world.  

You have no frame of reference to navigate the world. You struggle to find peace and happiness. Worse, you criticize every single thing that is “wrong” with you, instead of realizing and focusing on everything that is “right” with you.  

Because you don’t fit a certain mold, it can be easy to characterize yourself as “broken.”  

Embrace your uniqueness to reverse this image

Such negative self-talk, however, can be the catalyst for the deepest of suffering, which burns at our core and leaves us deflated like a bird without wings.  

Yet everything in life requires perspective. And the only way to get out of this suffering is to shift your perspective and embrace your uniqueness.  

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Actionable Steps


Embrace Your Uniqueness

No two people—not even twins—will ever be exactly alike. If they were, that would defeat the purpose of their existence, because the Universe has no redundancies if you look closely.  

The leaves of a tree might all look the same, but each occupy a different space within a different branch—because they’re supposed to.  

The clouds of the sky might all look the same, but each has a different shape occupying a different space within the atmosphere—because they’re supposed to.  


Remember That Nothing in the Universe happens by accident

Remember that nothing in the Universe happens by accident. And neither does our existence.

We came here exactly for a reason and purpose that only WE can fulfill.  

Once we realize this, we know that fitting in is one of the worst things we can do in terms of discovering our true self and our unique purpose in life. It destroys our uniqueness—and worse, encourages others to do the same.  

When enough people chase a false sense of belonging, others will be inspired to join the masses for fear of being left out.  

If you think about it, there are more than 7 billion people in the world. Yet, there is typically no more than 5 political parties followed, no more than 10 religions practiced, and no more than 1,500 university majors pursued. Compared to—again—7 billion people. 

Society loves to consolidate us and erase our differences. But it’s only when we embrace those differences that we can truly flourish.  


Find Peace and Confidence

People who embrace their uniqueness are generally more confident, more at peace, and clearer on what it is that will make them truly happy and fulfilled. 

They recognize that each gift they have—no matter how different—is special and has a unique role to play.   

They don’t dim their light because others can’t see. Instead, they shine it brighter, in case they eventually might.  

So, instead of trying to fit in, ask yourself: How would my life be if I could completely embrace myself without any fear or judgment? You may be surprised by the answer. 

Oftentimes, the fear and judgment we have is self-inflicted, because guess what: People are more concerned about how others see them, than they are about trying to judge you.  

Overall, fitting in may provide a sense of comfort in the short term, but it will only move you farther away from your real self in the long term.  

The more distant you are from your true self, the more suffering you will experience.  

Fortunately, there’s a way to stop this. It starts by befriending the person you see in the mirror, because what you’ve been seeking in life…has been with you all along.  

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About the Author

Najim Mostamand

Najim Mostamand

Life Purpose Coach

My name is Najim and I am a life purpose coach, writer, and speaker helping young professionals live a more fulfilling life by discovering and pursuing their purpose. After nearly a decade in the corporate world, serving in various management and leadership roles, I experienced firsthand the emotional pain of feeling burnt out, unfulfilled, and out of alignment with my true self and potential.

Today, I coach young professionals from all career paths and walks of life to become more self-aware, trust their intuition, and get out of their comfort zone so that they can transition out of their unfulfilled state and into the life or career they always wanted! If this sounds like you and you want to find real and lasting fulfillment in your life, please feel free to reach out and let’s have a chat!

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This article was originally posted on Najim Mostamand’s personal website.

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