Facing Fear And Moving Forward

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Are you ready to face your fear? When we identify that large, ugly monster blocking the path between us and our best lives, we can defeat it and keep moving forward.

Together, we’re going to conquer fear in two parts!

Part 1: Finally facing fear

In 2014, when we were still dating, my husband asked, “What’s your biggest fear?” My answer, “A bi-weekly paycheck.” Not death, or spiders, or breaking a bone.

Needless to say, my response wasn’t what he expected to hear. Bi-weekly paychecks have never truly been a source of consistency or comfort to me because I’ve experienced what it’s like to lose my job many times now. That’s where the fear comes in. If I depend on someone else to pay me, rather than myself, it scares me. BIG time!

When it comes to facing fear, humans act from one of two types of motivation – fear or inspiration. One is not better than the other because ultimately it’s one of these two motivations that act as the catalyst to moving forward and facing fear.

A Look in the Mirror

Reader, look in the mirror and ask yourself these questions.

“AM I MOTIVATED BY MOVING AWAY FROM PAST SITUATIONS IN ORDER TO CREATE SOMETHING BETTER FOR MYSELF/MY FAMILY?”

OR

“AM I MOTIVATED BY INSPIRATION AND THE POSSIBILITY OF SOMETHING BETTER?”

There’s no right or wrong answer.

This is you being honest and understanding where your motivations lie. To be honest, my main motivator is fear. I am motivated by moving away from past situations in order to create something better for myself/my family. I fear getting laid off and figuring out where the money will come from in order to survive and not just scrape by.

Don’t get me wrong, I am consistently inspired by the possibility of the location-independent lifestyle and the business I’m creating as a coach and multi-passionate entrepreneur. However, at the base of all my motivations is the intrinsic desire to move away from the feelings of frustration, stress, and emotional pain I experienced as a young professional getting laid-off again and again.

Facing the Fear

We have to face that fear.

We have to look it in the face, acknowledge it, and kindly ask it to move aside.

This may feel silly, but as long as you’re asking yourself questions in the mirror, you may as well answer yourself. Have a conversation. “I see you (fear), and I know you’re there. I’d like you to move aside so I can move forward.”

You might be surprised at what happens.

Part 2: Moving forward after facing fear

Now, let’s utilize our motivations to move past our fears and toward what we want to create, feel, and experience.

First and foremost, we connect with our higher selves by asking powerful questions highlighted in the actionable steps below. I’ve shared my answers to help.

If you’re into journaling, this is a great journal exercise. If you’re enjoying the experience of talking to yourself in the mirror, use these questions to continue your conversation. It’s up to you how to start your journey toward overcoming fear and stepping into greatness.




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A Gift For You

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Actionable Steps


1

Ask yourself, “What do I really want?”

This is an extremely important question to ask yourself each and every time you make any move in your life. Ultimately, the action you decide to take will either bring you closer to your goals and desires or pull you further away. Each time you face a roadblock, challenge, or new life event, ask yourself again. You have the power to determine the course of action in your life.

Last year, while employed at a job I wasn’t enjoying, I was given an ultimatum to be placed on a process improvement plan or use the next 30-days to exit on my own terms. I chose the latter. It allowed me the opportunity to finally face my fear and align with the desire I had to work remotely. Finally, I would be able to truly focus on refreshing and rebuilding my life-coaching business. It was a scary decision at the moment but making that decision changed the course of my life and my mental health for the better. It all came from asking myself what I really wanted.

2

Ask yourself, “What’s currently getting in my way?”

Time for some honest introspection. Dive into your current situation and the roadblocks you’re coming up against. It might also be freeing to get these blocks down on paper.

Sometimes, getting them out of your head and onto paper makes them seem less daunting. When I decided to leave my corporate job last October, my main barrier was the fear of not having an income. I took the leap and gave my 30-days notice, and not only did I line up a remote freelance opportunity, but I had the freedom to really dive into refreshing my business, creating and launching my podcast (Unapologetically Alive), and taking on my first paying coaching client in years. See what can happen when you identify your barriers and face them head-on?

3

Ask yourself, “What about my roadblocks are creating fear?”

It might be one big thing or a series of smaller fears working together to block you from achieving, feeling, or knowing what it is you want. Instead of fear, I chose to focus on closing a chapter in my life and looking forward to what was to come. As a result of identifying my biggest fear, I was able to shift my energy and focus toward creating a backup plan to support me in my bigger vision.

4

Ask yourself, “What is filling my time?”

How are you spending your time and where are you focusing your energy? Are you binge watching Netflix when you could be doing an online course to help you switch careers? Are you scrolling Instagram or Facebook when you could be writing and outlining the short story you’ve been wanting to create? While figuring out how to financially support my lifestyle after leaving my corporate job, I realized I was wasting my time only looking at jobs in the Seattle city limits. Once I had this “ah-ha” moment, I pivoted to searching remote freelance opportunities.

Truth Bomb: We’re all guilty of putting off what needs to get done by distracting ourselves with other, oftentimes “shiny,” things. I’m over here raising my hand as a guilty party as well so don’t feel bad. The key is to practice self-awareness. Acknowledge and make the shift. At the end of the day, we all have the time to do what it is we REALLY want. If we aren’t making the time, we need to ask ourselves if what’s using our time is truly important.

5

Ask yourself, “What’s holding me back?”

Be honest. What is holding you back from taking the next step? Believe it or not, it’s the same answer for all of us. It’s our mindset. The stories and lies we tell ourselves that turn into excuses for not doing, being, acting, and taking chances are all linked to how we think. It’s our mindset that will determine the action or lack of action we take. This is our choice to shift our mindset to work for us, rather than against us. It’s easy to stay stuck in our old mindsets and lives.

I’ve been stuck in my mindset countless times. After a decade on this personal development journey, I know that any mindset blocks I’m experiencing can be overcome by seeking out the right tools and support systems. For example, in 2015 I hired a coach who helped me work through negative mindsets that weren’t helping me succeed and grow in my life. She helped me visualize greater possibilities for myself, my life, and my business.

By incorporating her unique coaching skill sets (daily meditation and channeling at the beginning of our coaching calls), I began to reprogram my thought patterns, my self-confidence, and my belief in what I had to offer as a coach. I began to see tangible results from our work together popping up in my life. Even coaches need coaches! There’s always something or someone out there to hold us up. It’s important to find resources to effectively help us overcome obstacles and move forward with ease and confidence.

6

Ask yourself, “What am I waiting for before facing fear?”

Seriously, what are you waiting for? Write down this answer and recite it out loud. Hold yourself accountable. Feel into why you’re waiting for – the perfect time, perfect relationship, perfect opportunity to get started?

Our dreams don’t work unless we do. If you want to fully realize your dream, it’s time for you to stop waiting and start acting by facing fear. I’ve found myself waiting many times. It only takes a question like this from my mentor or a personal development book to kick me out of my slump. When I was miserable and stressed in my previous job, I kept waiting for the right full-time job to arise so I could give my two weeks’ notice. But what was I really waiting for?

Honestly, it was for the stars to align just right – a job would magically appear allowing me to quit. That was never going to happen. I was waiting to be pushed and, finally, was. Are you also waiting for the push?

7

Ask yourself, “What can I do today to get myself back on track?”

Believe it or not, we all have the power within ourselves to create immediate change for ourselves. We innately know what’s in our best interest. When you ask yourself this question out loud, pay attention to what responses come to you immediately. Write down as many as you can. Then, look through the answers and circle the top one or two actions you can implement today and this week to get back on track.

8

Make time to reflect and focus on what you can control

If you need accountability and support on your self-discovery and mindset journey I am here for you. Schedule your complimentary Consultation Call and let’s create some amazing mindset shifts for you together!

Coaches For All Your Self-Improvement Needs!

About the Author


Tonia Noland

Tonia Noland

Mindset and Transition Coach

I’m Tonia, a Mindset and Transition Coach for women adapting to career and lifestyle changes. What the heck does that even mean? In the simplest of terms, we will work together to answer the age old question, “What am I doing with my life?” Whether you’re stuck in a rut, ready to make a huge shift or you’re fed up with being laid off, our work will help you create a lifestyle and career that allows you the freedom and lifestyle prosperity you seek.

Website | 1:1 Coaching | Facebook


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