Dream bigger to create your own reality.
You’ve probably heard responses to your dreams before, like, “Oh, that’s so unrealistic,” or, “Well, that’ll never happen.”
Here’s what I have to say to that — and similar phrasing is used in magickal circles as well as in activism: Dream of the future that you want, and keep dreaming it. That’s the only way you’ll ever get it.
Whatever you want the future to be, ask yourself, “If that dream is 100% possible, then what else would I want?”
Here’s where I started in my own journey. We’ll pick up from the point in my story where I left my full-time job to pursue my true passions.
I didn’t know I was asking myself the “what else” question at the time, but my partner, Anthony, and I started to dream bigger together. It was as if my constructed reality had started cracking, and I could now reach in to pull the edges of the box apart, to reveal even more.
As we both realized how much more “me” I was working several part-time jobs and loving them all, we started talking more about what was important to us individually, and as a couple. The first thing we realized?
We love our families, and we want to be close to them.
Anthony revealed that he was not a fan of suburban life.
That revelation from Anthony is what sent what was left of my constructed reality tumbling to the ground. This house, the china cabinet filled with EVERY type of glass for any beverage you would want (and multiple cheese trays), the kitchen we remodeled specifically for hosting, and our very “adult” matching bedroom furniture set, were all that I had built to showcase and “prove” my adulthood. What would happen if I tore it all down?
In the words of David Plotkin in his book Soulcraft (approximately, I can’t find the quote online), “It’s like there is a storm approaching that you know is just for you, and you know you have no choice but to walk out the door and directly into the tempest.”
And I sure felt like I was in a tempest. I knew that something wonderful was waiting on the other side of this wall I’d built out of paint and green lawns and cheese boards, but it was an incredibly painful process to actually tear down this reality.
This is all to say that dreaming bigger isn’t always pleasant — in fact, it can be the complete opposite. But in the end, Anthony and I became snowbirds, traveling back and forth from my family in Pittsburgh, PA in the summers and his family in Phoenix, Arizona in the winters. We’re currently about to head back to Pittsburgh for the second time. A year ago, we bought Arnold the Ambulance so our home could move with us. It’s the best dream we could have created together (though we aren’t stopping there!).