How to Improve Self-Esteem and Love Yourself

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Shorter Version

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Why Should You Improve Self-Esteem?

Inside each and every one of us is a dream waiting to be fulfilled.  

A vision of how perfect life would be IF we could only achieve something, go somewhere, become someone, etc. 

But between us and that vision is a gap. A gap that, for many of us, seems impossible to close.  

We often doubt our abilities and sense of worth, and as a result, lack the self-esteem and self-confidence needed to move forward in life. 

But low self-esteem doesn’t just impact our ability to achieve our greatest dreams. It can also impact the quality of our life as it is today and in this very moment. Low self-esteem can lead to numerous debilitating conditions, including anxiety, stress, depression, and a general lack of interest in life.  

So how do we improve our self-esteem so we don’t experience these health consequences?

What Causes Low Self-Esteem?

So, where exactly does low self esteem come from and how can we improve it to live our best life? 

It all starts with our childhood and how we processed information growing up to form our sense of identity. As children, we unconsciously picked up countless thoughts, beliefs, and perspectives from others, often with very little or no filters at all. It was our way of navigating the world and trying to form a sense of who we are and what our role in life should be.  

But if we were constantly surrounded by negative pressures and influences—e.g. overly demanding parents, bullies in school, images in the media of how we should be, look, or act—then our sense of self became impaired and fragile.  

Rather than trying to love ourselves for who we are at our core, we likely were trying to preserve some false and limiting sense of self that developed as a result of these influences.  

For some of us, this false and limiting identity is so far removed from our actual self that we live our entire life in the shadows, scared to step into our own light and achieve what it is we are fully capable of achieving. 

This denial of our own identity leads to low self-esteem.

How to Improve Self-Esteem

Examine the negative beliefs you have about yourself and actively commit to changing them. Want to learn how to reframe negative beliefs so you can improve self-esteem? I’ll discuss this subject further below.

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Actionable Steps

How to Improve Self-Esteem


Confront Your Negative Beliefs About Yourself

In order to improve self-esteem, we have to confront negative and limiting beliefs about ourselves that we have developed over the years, especially during our impressionable childhood. 

See if there are any limiting thoughts and beliefs that have been holding you back all this time. Think back to the warnings, advice, or guidance you unquestioningly accepted from your parents, teachers, friends, or role models and see how you can challenge the beliefs they imparted on you. Imagine what would happen if you could just let it all go and walk into the brilliance of your own light.


Embrace Your Identity

In order to improve self-esteem, we must reexamine who we are to begin with and reinvent ourselves to embrace a new, deeper, and more authentic identity. Like an old and beaten-down house, it’s often better to demolish the whole structure and build anew from the foundations, than it is to try to remodel the surface and mask the wear and tear underneath.

Such self-discovery and self-awareness can be a challenging and time-consuming process. But the alternative means that we would have to live with an identity that is not really ours. And without discovering and embracing our true self and identity, we can never live our life as it was intended to be lived—with passion, purpose, meaning, and joy.


Work With a Life Coach or Therapist

A life coach or a therapist is well-positioned to help you challenge negative beliefs and reframe them so you can improve your self-esteem and self-image. A life coach or therapist can also help you find your true self and build your own authentic identity.

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About the Author

Najim Mostamand

Najim Mostamand

Life Purpose Coach

My name is Najim and I am a life purpose coach, writer, and speaker helping young professionals live a more fulfilling life by discovering and pursuing their purpose. After nearly a decade in the corporate world, serving in various management and leadership roles, I experienced firsthand the emotional pain of feeling burnt out, unfulfilled, and out of alignment with my true self and potential.

Today, I coach young professionals from all career paths and walks of life to become more self-aware, trust their intuition, and get out of their comfort zone so that they can transition out of their unfulfilled state and into the life or career they always wanted! If this sounds like you and you want to find real and lasting fulfillment in your life, please feel free to reach out and let’s have a chat!

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This article was originally posted on Najim Mostamand’s personal website.

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