Tips For Living With Parents In Harmony As An Adult

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Shorter Version

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“The home should be the treasure chest of living.”

~ Le Corbusier

Did you know that over 60% of young singles, ages 20-29, still live at home with their parents? Well, it’s true.

The reasons

Some live at home because they have been unable to snag a job that will allow them to move out, some haven’t been able to snag a job at all (even with a college degree or two), and others live at home due to an illness or disability.

Yet, some still live with parents because…they can. They like the security (and benefits) that come with living with good old Mom and Dad. Still, some want to stay home until they are married or because they are newly divorced – with or without kids. Regardless of the reason, a lot of Millennials haven’t left the family homestead – or have returned to it out of necessity or desire.

What does it mean?

What does that mean for young adults who have just begun to officially “adult?” It means you’re probably going to have to respect your parents and their home, follow rules, and chip-in when and where you can. Basically, try living co-dependently if you want to live harmoniously with your parents.

Hey, you got to do what you got to do to survive in this world, right? Take a couple of really deep breaths and take the steps needed to peacefully co-exist with your parents and siblings.

But, guess what? Eventually, you’ll find a job that pays you what you need to live independently. Just be patient. Until then, try to soak up the time you have with your parents – even if they annoy you from time-to-time. Remember, just like you, they are getting older. So, make memories with them. You’ll appreciate those memories when you start your own family. Until then, it’s your lucky day because this article will provide you with tips on how you can live harmoniously with your parents.

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Actionable Steps


Make a contribution when living with parents

The best way to live harmoniously with parents is to offer to pay for something. It doesn’t matter how small or big it is, the goal is to contribute to the household. It also doesn’t have to be a bill – you could pay a small fee for rent or purchase groceries for the family each week or month.
You could also help out around the house by doing the laundry, washing dishes, fixing things that need to be repaired, babysitting younger siblings, taking your parents to doctor’s appointments, running your parents around town when they need to run errands, cooking for the family, collecting and taking out the trash, or even dusting and cleaning the house.
These small gestures or contributions can make living with parents a whole lot more amicable and peaceful.


Pick up after yourself

There’s nothing worse for parents who have adult children living at home than having to pick up after a “grown person.” These messes can easily turn into problems and arguments with your parents. Instead, try not to walk out of your clothes once you get home from work. Grab a laundry basket and practice throwing clothes in there.
Put your dishes in the dishwasher right away – it’s hard to remember after the fact. Or, better yet, handwash them and put them up. Keep your room clean and orderly and straighten up areas before you exit them. Clean up! Throw away your trash and don’t leave the bathroom a mess. These acts of respect keep the peace better than you realize!


Respect and follow family rules

If your parents have given you a curfew (Yes, I know you’re an adult now), respect it. You don’t have to like the rules, but you must follow them if you want to live harmoniously with parents. Respect goes a long way, so follow the rules.

After all, living at home is only temporary. You’ll eventually move out…right? If you find respecting and following your family’s rules unbearable, get a job (if you don’t already have one) and start saving for your own place ASAP.


Communicate and develop mutually agreed-upon boundaries

You’ll need to communicate regularly with your parents if you live at home. Talk about your expectations – yours and theirs. Be honest and open. And, listen – really listen to your parents. Once you have hashed out your expectations, develop mutually agreed-up boundaries.
Review these boundaries every few months to ensure that everyone is on the same page. These boundaries may include the following areas: dating, personal space, privacy, etc. Keep the lines of communication open and try not to bristle if your parents try to treat you as though you are still a child.
If you and your parents do not communicate well, you may want to find somewhere else to live (i.e. another relative, an older sibling, a friend, etc.). Poor communication can cause a host of problems, leading to conflict within the household and a damaged parent-child relationship.


Read more about this topic

If you are interested in learning more about living harmoniously with parents check out the following articles: 4 Rules for Adult Children Living at Home, 9 Tips for Living With Your Parents as an Adult, From People Who Have Been There, and How to Live with Your Parents When You Are an Adult.

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About the Author

Dr. R. Y. Langham

Dr. R. Y. Langham

Ph.D. in Family Psychology

Ree has a Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy (M.M.F.T.) and a Ph.D. in Family Psychology. She spent over ten years counseling families, couples, individuals, and children on adjustment issues such as blended families, same-sex couples, dysfunctional family relationships, relationship issues, etc. Now she writes for famous health organizations and is a published author.
Full Bio | LinkedIn

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